Biblically Based - Clinically Sound
Passionately helping men and marriages devastated by p*rnography and intimate betrayal.
I love working with men and marriages devastated by p*rnography and intimate betrayal.
This led me to write The P*rn Antidote for men, which became an Amazon bestseller.
Couples I work with tell me they end up with a better marriage at the end of working together, than before life “blew up”. Even better, it is sustainable without ongoing help from me. Essentially, my job is to work myself out of a job.
MARRIAGES DEVASTATED BY P*RNOGRAPHY AND INTIMATE BETRAYAL. This is my sweet spot! It takes special skills to help couples heal from marital trauma and betrayal of trust. I have advanced training and supervision in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)- which has been shown to be the most empirically validated form of marital therapy. And- EFT has been shown to be incredibly effective in helping couples heal (not just survive) from betrayal trauma.
(Men and engineers tell me how much they love this approach…they say it just “makes sense”.)
Communication skills and conflict management skills aren’t enough. Research shows that you will not be able to effectively use these in the heat of the moment.
My approach helps couples heal through the emotional upheaval after p*rnography or intimate betrayal are discovered. After stabilizing, the deep healing work can take place. I love watching the Lord heal couples when they couldn’t imagine life ever getting better. I truly love my job.
“We don’t need help with betrayal trauma or p*rn, can you still help us?”
Absolutley. One of the most common dynamics that leads couples to my office is a pattern called the “Pursue - Withdraw Cycle”. Typically, the wife is pursuing connection with her husband, and he shuts down and avoids emotional connection or conflict. This is an incredibly common pattern in Huntsville and N. Alabama with all of the engineers and their wives.
Since I have a background in engineering I can “speak their language”. Also, I have had advanced training and supervision in the most empirically validated from of marital therapy (Emotionally Focused Therapy). The engineer husbands I work with tell me they really like it, and it just makes sense. You can imagine how much their wives like it!
Check out the article I wrote describing the “Pursue - Withdraw” cycle
Marriage Counseling
Trauma is tormenting. It is re-experiencing an overwhelming painful and scary event vs simply remembering a painful moment from the past.
A client once said, “it’s like you are walking along, and out of nowhere something jumps out of an alley and grabs you”.
Whether it is abuse or neglect from childhood, or a veteran reacting to a box at the stop sign like it is an IED: trauma hijacks the brain and nervous system and sends you reeling.
These events are re-traumatizing- leaving you feeling out of control, confused, and mad at yourself. “Why couldn’t I control what I was thinking and feeling!?!”.
Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT) uses color of light and angle of light to rapidly help the brain and nervous system calm and rewire. Essentially, to repair the “trauma loop”.
That means that what was once TRAUMA, becomes a painful memory that doesn’t take over.
ETT is different from EMDR. In my experience, ETT helps regulate much more effectively than EMDR when you are processing a painful or terrifying experience. Also, ETT tends to resolve the trauma much more rapidly.
Currently, I am the only provider trained in ETT in this region of the country.
TRAUMA
OCD & ADHD NON-MEDICAL TREATMENTS
What if I told you there is a way to treat both OCD and ADHD without medication? Emotional Transformation Therapy effectively helps rewire the brain so that OCD and ADHD resolve…again…without medication.
It has been amazing to see the results as clients have been tormented by OCD. Literally, having their lives and relationships controlled by the tormenting obsessions and compulsions.
Handwashing, checking behaviors, counting, rigid structure for the sake of structure, internal obsessive thought patterns. ETT helps the brain rewire over the period of four weeks so that these patterns become annoyances instead of slave drivers.
This is not response prevention. Using a light device with varying flicker rate, you actively think about the OCD thoughts. Eventually, the thoughts lose their power because the obsessive pattern in the brain doesn’t work the way it did before.
Folks love this process!
For ADHD, it’s the same idea. The light device with a specific color and flicker rate helps the brain shift to a state where it can focus, and the body and remain calm.
Clients who have come through this process don’t have to fight their brains to try to focus the way they used to. This doesn’t make you a straight A student. I have found that I will allow you to be more focused, engaged, organized, and “on track” so that you are more able to do the things you desire to do.
And yes, without medication.
